or final crit I had put together a really rough edit of my animation. I was really disappointed that I didn’t have the finished thing to show. Even thought I haven’t stopped working on it. Crit also forced me to put it on a time line and I was so surprised at how it looked and was coming along. I wasn’t expecting it to look so nice.

Feedback from my peers

 – The wall speakers seem like game textures. I can adjust that in after effects, using the levels

 – Too many static shots from the front – I only put those in as fillers so there weren’t blank spaces in the edit. Want to have pans close ups and shots from different angles.

 – Love how at 2.50 mins her mouth moves with the music. – Nice to hear

 -Music works really well with the idea and the storyboarding

-Seems to work really well in telling the story – Great was worried people wouldn’t understand what was happening but doesn’t seem to be the case.

– Shot one maybe make her central so she’s the focus – will review when seen the complete render, it might look different when it’s done. I am concerned about too many central shots of my character, the room is very symmetrical wanted to mix it up a bit using camera shots.

 – Sound system needs more reflective or lighter to see the detail. – I wont make It reflective as the material they are made is mat. Will lighten them in after effects. Need to be careful as the corners of the room are darkly lit. Could use levels to. Bring out the lighter colours in the texture.

 – Facial expression through the dance? – Hadn’t done that yet, the face will be animated for the final edit.

 – Like the feeling of control, like someone is watching her like a recording studio. – fantastic, just what I was going for!

 – Final shots feel so real and exhaustion shows. 🙂

– Like the microphone, think a longer shot is needed. – I can extend the first microphone shot; I also intend to show other shots from different angles.

 – Like the beginning animation of her coming to life. 🙂

 – Personally I don’t like the music and didn’t think it fits with your theme based on the Nuremberg trials. Personally think the music should be something of that time period. The techno also looses the creep factor – Mixed feelings about the music, more grammar phone, old radio sounds will be added.

 – Think the speakers need re texturing as they look stretched. – Will take a look.

 – The dance is fantastic and grotesque and think the texture needs more grotesque on the model. I agree she is a bit to smooth and clean. Taken on board.

 – End animation is great; end shots are fab- I can only smile at that.

 – Need some colour correction in post. Make it more dynamic. – I’m on it, I put the comps together as they came rendered. I need to make it feel colder and then when the sun comes out make it warmer.

 – The record sign is backwards- yes hadn’t rendered out the shot so re-used the one from another shot, just flipped it for the rough edit.

– I don’t personally like the track + no legs mean the dance is repetitive. – I think when I have edited and rendered out the cameras it should eliminate some of the repetitiveness. There is a change in pace of the dance, although I neglected to use it for the right edit for the presentation.

– The animation straight after the music stops is superb. – Superb they said! About my work! Thank you.

 – The character isn’t in one of the shots she should be. Eg 3:16. – yes I seem to have miss placed the render of the character, not a problem can re-render her for that scene.

 – The dancing doesn’t seem to match the music. –  Noted, will sort that out.

 – Quite a few weight painting issues. – That will be the first part of the mocap dance. I used it raw and un polished for the purpose of the presentation. The augments also need re attracting. It will be resolved for hand in.

 -Music cuts into fast. – Taken on board, didn’t want to drag out the dance for too long because of the limitations of the characters disability there wouldn’t be much variety in movement as noticed in a previous comment. I like the instant music personally, gets to the point.

 – Are you planning on changing her reflections in the mirrors? I wounded what reflections they are? Could be the static ones when you should see her dancing in the reflection. I’ll check it out.

– You could make her feel more sad or used through her facial expressions? – I only have three controls for the face. But I will do my best to add more expressions to her.

 – A little weird haha 🙂 but that’s just me! Well done Lauren! – Weird is what I want! I like weird and strange and different. I’m not all fluffy bunnies and sunshine, I wanted impact and evoke emotions from the audience. Seems to be working so far.

 – Minus probably having nightmares it looks good, the rendered scenes look awesome. Music to the dance fits well and is different. Like the scream bits. Only niggle is the starting position, I don’t think the spine would go that far back with the hips tied down. – Appreciate the comment. The hips aren’t tied down, the legs are and I took reference images of dancers and athletes bending like that.

– The lower stomach appears too deformed in various shots.- That will be the as of yet unpolished mocap dance. Will be rectified in final edit.

 – Possibly add some shake on the cameras when it zooms into speakers, make the visual reflect the base more. – Great already considered that, just need to figure out how to do it.

 – I think the narrative explains itself, causing slight confusion and interest from the viewer. Then you see and realize at the end, it’s great . Well considered. Story far to short. – Good to hear, I would have made it longer only time restraints won’t allow. Also cut out 25 seconds of music as it is.

 – It might work to tone the lighting down? It’s very light and with the light beam at the end , it might clearly reflect the feel of isolation and abandonment. – Yes I am tackling the lighting issue as previously stated.


Overall I feel the crit went well, got lots of good feed back and suggestions to move forward with. It reinforces that I’m going in the right direction. Just need to crack on.

 I was surprised at how strange people found it, maybe I have different perceptions and de sensitivity to this kind of thing. Also we see perfect everywhere, everyday in the media. I think my character is beautiful in her own different way. I suppose an attitude people with such disabilities wish more people would have. Perhaps it’s the dance that makes it feel weird, if so, that’s what I was aiming for, so I have achieved it. I am concerned that some people will not like it and walk away from it, but I don’t think it is at that sensitive level. Also I want them to feel sympathetic to my character, especially toward the end. I’ll have to wait and see their reaction at end of year show.