This is my submission edit for the FMP module. I am really not happy about handing in this edit, in fact im quite embarrassed about handing in such a week and half finished piece.

Screen shot 2013-05-09 at 09.03.45

Through out the project I wasn’t sure what to call my animation, I thought of words like ,chagrin, meaning a keen feeling of mental unease, as of annoyance or embarrassment, caused by failure, disappointment, or a disconcerting event. Vexation, a source of irritation or annoyance, sounds good but didn’t work with the animation  A had never heard of those words until i got my thesaurus out and that made me wonder how many others would have heard of them so I passed on those. As the animation was set in germany i had used the german word for recording light, it hadn’t occurred to me to use Aufnahme as the title of the animation  It made scene, its a german word so it suggest its german and even if the audience doesn’t understand what it means at the start i think when the record light switches on in the animation they will understand then. Also the purpose of the experiment is to ‘record’ the data coming from the subject.

I dont like the title effect, it was done very quickly, its simple and boring and I can do a lot better, just the clock was counting down. I added the flicker to give a sense that something is being switched on like the recording light later in the animation. The same with the credits at the end. What I would like to do for end of year show is ask someone in our second year if they would like to do a really nice, fancy title and credits, while I finish creating the 4 minute version of the animation.

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The first shot would have been a lot more effective with the wires stretched across the screen like i had originally intended. What I didn’t want from the first shot is for the audience to make out what it was they were seeing until another shot later on. I just wanted the audience to take in the shapes and the atmosphere and hope fully build a curiosity about what that figure is in the room. I think the lighting in the shot is nice, it sets the tone for the rest of the animation. There is some really bad masking noticeable approximately 10 seconds in, thats due to my messy render layers where I missed turing of the primary visibility on the roof on a pass.

I think the scene is too still, it feels very flat. I think some very slight movement on my character would have broken that stillness also maybe some particles floating around to give the room depth.

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This shot is intended to inform the audience that somebody is observing what is going on inside the room. It would have been nice to get a human shadow on the wall to make it a bit clearer and suggest that there is actually someone there. I tried animating the camera as if it were through the eyes of the scientist, peering through the window.

Again there is some ugly masking, due to messy render layers and it is quite noticeable at approx. 0.22. There is a moving shadow above the window frame that shouldn’t be there.

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I think this is a really nice shot of the microphones. The lighting and depth of field really puts an emphasis on what I want the viewer to be looking at. The humming suggests they are on and ready to record something. I added some particle effects in-between the wall layer and mic layer to give the effect of space between the two, I think that works really nicely. Overall I think its a really nice asset.

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This is the first time you really see my character, it was also the first render I saw of her myself and I was shocked at how good it looked. It made me realise just how far I have come in 3 years and that I can produce CGI to a relatively high standard and I am proud of that.

I wanted this shot to give the feeling of her waking up or coming alive after being docile for a long period. I also wanted it to be quite a key scene in introducing her to the audience as there are no close ups of her previously.

I really like it, i think it feels like she is waking up with a shock, like she’s tired and incoherent. The lighting has some really nice shadow on her face and having the window in the back ground coming in and out of focus keeps this suggestion that she is being watched. The frame rate seems to drop slightly when she leans back out of the shot, thats because i slowed the clip down. the animation seemed to fast, you didn’t have a chance to look at her before she disappeared from the shot again. I could have done with rendering out a slower animation, but thats something i can consider amending.

The displacement map looks good, but i could have done with some more marks, pores and wrinkles on her face, she looks a bit too smooth.

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I think this was a nice shot from the scientist perspective of what it is they are seeing. It could have done with being longer, its over very quickly also there is no transition between her being curled over backwards to her being up right. That was simply because i didn’t have a render of her becoming upright again. I could have added it to this shot, seeing her become upright and begin to move. The music also comes in to quickly, there is no build up in this version and i can not stress enough that that is NOT down to the music producer, I edited it like that for the submission edit. The full version and potential of the music, complete with build up, will be used for the end of year show.

The walls are a bit dark and could do with a slight beam of light to give emphasis on the character.

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The speakers could do with a vibration effect to give them the impression they are on and give them a more intimidating feel. There is also some masking issues, the walls and speakers were rendered out as one layer and thought the walls were fine, the speakers needed lightening and the only way I could do that was using a mask.

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I was concerned about the length of such a static shot when rendering this one out, but after keying a pull focus effect using the camera lens blur it kept the image moving even though it was a static shot. I also like the framing, I would have liked the microphone further left in the shot but because of their placement of the other assets it wouldn’t be possible with out physically moving it.

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I really like the scream shots, I think they quite un nerving and really change up the tone of the animation. I would have liked a lot more emotion in her face, some pain would have been really effective, but because i only had her eyebrows and mouth animated i was quite restricted to what I could depict. This augments didnt work so well, so I tried not to put to much focus on them and chose the better shots of them. At certain points they would disappear into the body mesh because of the animation. I suppose this is down to the practicality of it, the augments are hard surface so they dont deform with the flesh, so im going to get some ugly overlapping. I should have taken that more into consideration and it would have been better to have them as soft organic mesh and keep the illusion of hard surface. This way the bending wouldn’t have been so noticeable on the hard surface augments as the overlapping is. I did however render out the augments on a separate layer so they could sit over the character layer, that eliminated some of the problem shots.



I noticed when i was editing this wide rotation shot what sometimes the record light and window would disappear for a few frames. I’m really not sure why it did that, the only thing i can think of is that i have accidentally key framed the visibility or a few frames have been dropped on that layers image sequence. Its not major, it just looks like the light is short circuiting, but it is annoying though because once you spot it that seems to be all you can focus on. For some of these rotational shots i reversed the clip to play backwards and it would give her an odd unnatural movement an i thought that was a good effect.

Screen shot 2013-05-09 at 09.09.03

Through out the animation there is an inconsistency in lighting, it changes levels of brightness throughout. for some of the shots i have to turn up the brightness on the wall so much that they looked washed out and faded. I could have avoided this if i didn’t tamper with the lighting from shot to shot. thinking about it now it was a really silly thing to do, but the reasoning behind it was to light the assets for the shots. Next time i’ll light the scene and lock them. There should have only been one light change and that was for the shot above, when it is supposed to be the sun coming round and shedding warmth onto the character for a moment of comfort, relief and pleasure. The shot seems to be a bit to orange, i could have done with toning down the levels a bit, to get a more natural light effect.


As a piece I feel it is very rushed and i tried to squash a 4 minute story into 2.30. It works, but it doesn’t work fantastically. I’m just glad i have a finished piece of sorts to had in that is within my statement of intent deliverables.

However, below is the rough draft of what I intend to produce for the end of year show. The story makes more sense, it has a beginning, middle and end. There is a switch in the tone of the music which brings a variation in dance and shot edit. Its coming along and i think what will really set it of is the sound effects. So watch  this space, full version will be coming end of June.